Counting

I can't make anyone believe that they're worth it
So I cry out to You, how many times have you heard this?

I spend my time trying not to be angry with God
For making me so emotional, it just feels wrong
These are chemical reactions going off in my brain
I'd talk to people, but they don't feel the same
There's a lump in my throat and tears fill my eyes
Dad says happiness is a choice, but I've been choosing it for a while
The INFP articles don't tell me how to get rid of it
So I pray to God, and tell Him that I'm sick of it
Meanwhile people come to me with their problems on hand
And I can help fix them, but my own I can't understand
You're clouded from me, I don't know what to do
'Cause maybe I'd be alright, if I could just see you

Yes, I Am Perfect.

I keep on looking

Back and forth

I keep on searching

But I'm not sure what for

You are a miracle for the pessimist

The rise in a slowing song

And I wasn't sure how to handle it

Especially now that you're gone 

It's like I'm living in a train wreck

Well, that is, my mind

Sorting through the damage

And dusting off what's mine

People tell me I'm the friend who smiles

A steady girl, my feet in place 

I guess I've never told them I'm 

Like the wind inside a hurricane

I'm tugged back and forth 

I fall and I fly

I'm taken for granted 

I'm closing my eyes

Needing to be needed 

Like I need to help someone 

But there's no one I can talk to

So I don't see the sun

It's an endless cycle of give and repeat

Where my time and emotions are taken from me

I'm finding it harder and harder to breathe

Because no one understands me like you do, you see

And nobody listens or gets it at all

They think I'm on top but all I do is fall

They swear that I'm perfect, and it's all I can do

To not scream my heart out and tell them the truth

I keep telling myself that I know what is real

And I don't need them to all know how I feel

They don't validate all that goes on inside

My life is not based upon what they realize

And now, I'm only talking to myself 

Because at the moment I don't have anyone else

It's hurting like crazy, but God isn't deaf

I miss you more than I can bear, and it's not over yet

And she wakes up again and again,
The hours run dry into the night
And she drives it further and further
Trying to prove to herself she exists

The harder the goodbye
The sweeter the hello
They say

Right.

How long are you going to

Walk on your own

Smile for show

Sleep in your clothes

Forget you're home?

How long are you going to

Laugh when they ask

Glue on a mask

Then fail at that

And never come back?

You know he's coming back home, right?

Right?

Exhaustion.

Ethan has my pillow to sleep on
Isaac has my shoulder to lean on
And you have my heart, dear, so be strong