Strength.

Today was really, really long
And I'd like to say that I was strong
But I don't want "liar" written on my card
And I don't think my words can stretch that far
Yet I swore to myself that I'd bear all the weight
So I keep breaking that oath every time I say, "I'm great!"
Because I'm officially a liar, and good at it too
I  was falling apart and not that many knew
But thank you to the ones that did
Though I still feel like a kid
Crying in the blanket cause I feel alone
Words from others don't help me now, I just wanna go home
And they keep saying I'm gonna be okay
And yeah, I know that's true, but it doesn't take away the pain
You're right, God's the only one that can keep holding me up
And I have always known that, and I also know I'm stuck
This is a beautiful test, we wouldn't see stars without the dark
And I pray to God I'll pass, but that doesn't mean it's not hard
I'm concerned most for you though, I pray that you stay safe
I pray that you would lean on God in every single day
I pray that He would carry you, and that you'd know it's Him
I pray that you would be okay, and never give in
And this post kept getting longer, just like my Saturday
So darling, happy Fourth, and Independence Day
But I am overwhelmed
In case you couldn't tell
I'm overwhelmed that no one else understands
And I'm overwhelmed with the way that I am
And I'm overwhelmed that I'm so far from you
And that I can't hold my best friend as long as I want to
And I'm overwhelmed that I can't go to the same college
And I'm overwhelmed 'cause this space is too small and
I am SUCH a liar every minute of every day
Because I promised myself everything, I promised myself strength


But we'll get there one day.