Off

Isn't it weird how something always happens?
We always have plans to be together
And something comes in the way
Right when I feel you're by my side forever

Maybe I feel that way because I'm a pessimist
Or maybe I'm actually right for once
Not that it kills us, we stick it all out
After all, not even death can stop true love

What's also weird is how I'm losing my sister
To confusion, to thinking, to college, to anxiety
It all slides in between the two of us
And I'm afraid they're a lot more powerful than me

Please don't fade away like she is
Don't break your heart on confusion and pretend that it's fine
Don't grow distant, don't let me lose you, look me in the eyes
And tell me you'll always hold on tight

Because we're past the sappy crushing stuff, and "oh please don't let go"
But suddenly everything around me is falling apart
And God is my hero, most of all, but I still need you
And your world is crazy too, so let's go back to the start

When Shelby didn't run away, and Ethan wasn't hurt
When there wasn't any tension between him and her
When my sister and your brother made stupid googley eyes
Just thinking about it, I'm starting to cry

When my best friend and yours didn't have to go through hell
When her mom didn't have a tumor, when she was in good health
When Rebekah's anxiety wasn't there and Alex wasn't going hours away
But we're stuck in all this chaos, so now I'm begging you to stay

Because nothing else in my life is constant anymore
Except my faith in God and my knees on the floor
It all blows around me, tugging on my hair
Like little Wendy Darling falling through the air

It's as though most of my nightmares are finally coming true
So I'm sorry for writing this, but I don't know what else to do
Tomorrow's only Tuesday, I hope I can get through
It's been days but feels like decades since I've been able to hold you







(So I'm trying not to scream at the ceiling
I've felt the hurt and disaster, now where is the healing
So doesn't it feel just a little bit off
That the people in these hells seem alright and we're not?)